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9Oct/12Off

Ugh

Been feeling mentally okay, physically terrible.

Today, though, I feel the depression trying to push back in. Triggered by some crap behavior from someone, which reminded me a of a lot more crap behavior from others, which reminded me how I let people walk all over me. Really sad and angry right now and feeling an odd need to write a tell-all book, ha ha.

This person called me a “victim.” Fuck yes, I am a victim. I am also guilty of not-so-great behavior. I own up to that. I have made my fair share of mistakes. I have owned up to them in person, in therapy, and in my head. If I come across as a perpetual victim, well, that’s never been my intent. But let’s not pretend life has been all lollipops and unicorns for me lately, either. Depression can make you feel like a victim…but it can also make it very easy for other people to manipulate you into feeling the emotions they want you to feel.

So anyway, I know some people are reading this and thinking this post is about them. First off, you’re so vain. Secondly, I completely understand that I can’t blame all of my behavior on depression. What’s your excuse?

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  1. When I read this post, the first thing I thought was that most people don’t understand the first thing about depression. Have to admit — I don’t have first-hand experience — but I’d like to think society is evolving to a place where we stop blaming and first and foremost SUPPORT. Keep working, keep owning, don’t let those people pull you back under. You are working through a lot and making tough decisions. That’s the priority… not the unsupportive known-nothings. Big hugs.

  2. Life would be much simpler if one could simply punch stupid people right in the shnozz with impunity. Oh, if only I were Queen…


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