Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful flight,
That took off from Australia, but didn’t go quite right.
This plane had the saddest passengers that you have ever seen.
The universe was not a friend of Oceanic 815,
OCEANIC 815!

Some weird magnetic thingmajig, it snapped the plane in two,
And tossed the pieces left and right,
Like so much cosmic poo,
LIKE SO MUCH COSMIC POO!

The fuselage fell down on this uncharted jungle isle,
With Jack and Locke
And Sawyer too
And Hurley, Kate, Sun, and Jin
And Sayid too
And Charlie and Claire and Ben
HERE ON SMOKE MONSTER ISLE!

( and here’s the closing song … )

So this is the tale of the Lostaways, they’re here till two-thousand-ten.
They’ll keep unraveling mysteries, and beating up on Ben.

The Others and the Widmore goons will do what must be done,
To make them feel uncomfortable, and kill them one by one.

Some phones! Some lights! Some motor cars! Lots of Dharma luxuries.
Less Robinson Crusoe, more “Cribs” on MTV.

So join us here each week my friends, you’re sure to get a smile,
From guessing who is telling lies
HERE ON SMOKE MONSTER ISLE!