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I Wasn’t Really Expecting This

So, derby continues. We’re still Fresh Meat, and we’ve been testing forever. Basic skills tests are pretty much over, and now we’re being evaluated on the track. We do drills and scrimmage and mostly it’s a lot of fun and extremely physically demanding. I am taking my asthma meds more regularly (although I can’t really afford them; a story for another day), and I am feeling a difference! Maybe it’s all in my head, but I feel like I’m getting stronger and faster. And that’s pretty awesome. Overall I feel like I’m in better physical shape than I’ve been in, well, ever. And my ass is looking good! Hee. Of course, I’m not without my problems, but everyone has a weak spot.

Speaking of weak spots, about a week ago I took a hit to the chest (thanks, Crimes!) that knocked me loopy for a moment, but then dissipated. About five days later, the pain set in. Whenever I inhaled, laughed, sneezed or bent over, I got a sharp pain to the chest. I finally went to the doctor to just ensure I hadn’t fractured a rib or anything. I was 99% sure I hadn’t, and I was right. He diagnosed me with a contusion to the chest, basically meaning I badly bruised my chest wall. The inflammation caused my lungs to push into the bruise anytime I filled them up. So, good times. It will heal on its own. At our last practice, I avoided any contact drills but did manage to take a fall when I buzzed someone’s skates. Of course, I landed on my bad side. Ah well. I’ll heal again.

The actual point to this story, though, isn’t my stupid injury. We have reached a point as Fresh Meat where we have gotten a lot of the physical stuff down pat. But now it’s time to learn what it’s like to be part of a team. That means strategy, dedication, courage, strength, cooperation and mental clarity. Our captain has been tough on us lately and I understand why. But I have to say that I wasn’t prepared for this part. I am finding that I have a long way to go in terms of mental toughness. I didn’t realize it was going to be this hard. Today, to be honest, I entertained the thought of just giving up.

I’m not going to. I want to do this, and I want to push through. My teammates mean the world to me and I love that I’ve found something that I enjoy this much. But right now I’m feeling battered and bruised, in more ways than one, and I guess I’m writing this because I need your encouragement and support. You guys have always been there for me and right now I need a little push. Just a bit of an assist to get me back to the front of the pack. xoxoxo