A Love Note To Balance Bar
Oh, Caramel Nut Blast Balance Bar, having you in my life is like getting to eat a Snickers bar every day. I heart everything about you. You are a perfect breakfast, a superb pre-workout snack, and just having you in my life has made me a better person. If I could, Balance Bar, I would take you out behind the middle school and get you pregnant.
Gross
Can I just tell you that for the past few days I’ve had this…this…THING behind my ear. It’s some sort of cyst, I guess, and it’s the size of a pea and it hurts SO MUCH that I can’t lie on that side of my head. I’ve had these before (I know, I’m disgusting) but never this long. It’s driving me insane. And I’m also afraid it might explode at an inopportune moment. Who knew that getting old would bring this much fun and excitement?
Hurricane Poontang
Margaret Cho explains the real reason Bush is afraid of emergency contraception. [language NSFW]
Your Tax Dollars At Work
I’ve been avoiding blogging about the whole Britney mess, because that’s what it is, a MESS, and it’s sad and tragic and yadda yadda. But I’m reading this story about how she was once again hospitalized last night, and I come across this little piece of info: “[the] plan to hospitalize Spears…was so intricate that the Federal Aviation Administration had to be contacted to clear airspace on the route to the hospital.”
Are you kidding me? So next time I have a nervous breakdown, can I expect the same treatment? Is the way we treat celebrities not just A WEE BIT OUT OF CONTROL? Ugh.
Lost Season 3 Recap
In honor of tonight’s Lost Season 4 premiere (omgz, original programming, I’m so excited!), here’s the always hilarious ack-attack’s SEASON 3 RECAP!!!!1!
But Would You Have a Beer With Him?
I don’t care who he is or what state he represents – he’s got my vote.
R.E.M. & Modest Mouse
R.E.M. is going to tour with Modest Mouse. The thought of Michael Stipe and Johnny Marr potentially on stage together kind of makes me want to hug myself.
Bacon-Flavored Gifts
Valentine’s Day is coming soon, and who wouldn’t love a nice bacon-flavored token of your affection?
Pot Vending Machines
Get your medicinal marijuana, 24-7. Now, if they just legalized and taxed the stuff, this country would be swimming in money. And cheetos. And frozen pizza. But then again…
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