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5Oct/06Off

Celebrities Who Probably Smell Bad

Because I’m always interested in lowering the bar for the internet in general, I present to you my list of celebrities who probably smell bad:

1. Matthew McConaughey
2. Vincent Gallo
3. Cameron Diaz
4. Travis Barker
5. Chloe Sevigny
6. Natasha Lyonne
7. Gary Busey
8. Kevin Federline
9. Paris Hilton
10. Fergie

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  1. I think the Olson twins would smell bad too.

  2. Tom Sizemore
    Avril Lavigne

  3. Orlando Bloom

  4. Oh, that’s funny. From now on while I’m watching tv or movies, I’ll be mentally adding to the list.

  5. No Colin Farrell? He tops my list. But good call on Sevigny. She probably smells like Vincent Gallo. Oh ick. Now I just grossed myself out.

  6. Colin probably smells like Guinness and cigarettes.

    In other words, HEAVEN.

  7. Without a doubt Courtney Love

  8. For some reason, I think John Mayer probably smells bad. And Christina Aguilera… but I think she would just smell like really, really heavy perfume. So maybe that doesn’t count.

  9. John Mayer probably smells like patchouli, armpits, and earnest sensitivity.

  10. Courtney Love probably smells like a combo of sulfur, gin, and old cottage cheese.

  11. They talked about this on the radio the other day and someone mentioned how bad Jessica Simpson smells. My theory is that she’s so damn lazy on her “off” time, it’s probably true.

  12. without a doubt:

    PETER DOHERTY

  13. Thank you for going where most of us fear to tread. The list is dead-on accurate, but it’s like that song you hear on the radio that you can’t get off your mind… I suspect I’ll have a hard time thinking of anything else.

  14. Ethan Hawke. Definitely Stinky.

  15. Ooooh, good one. I’m a fan, but yes, The Hawke most definitely stinks.

  16. Harry Dean Stanton

  17. I hate to state the obvious, but Whitney. Smoke and gorgonzola with a topnote of musty wig.

    And while I’m sure you’re right that McConaughey stinks, I’d line up to smell his pits.

  18. I’ve always figured McConaughey would smell like pot, which would not be a problem for me.

    How many rungs down the “celebrity” ladder are we going? I don’t know if this counts, but that kid Theo from the MTV shows looks to me as though he’d smell like dirt and stale socks.

  19. Oh SNAP, Jen, you are so right! He looks like the missing link.

    And Michael, “musty wig” is so fucking funny.

  20. I won’t be so obvious as to say Anna Nicole, so I’ll say anyone that’s ever been within 10 feet of Anna Nicole.

  21. Ha! Poor Anna Nicole.

    I must say, though, that my whole worldview was turned upside-down when Becky Buckwild said that Flavor Flav always smells really good.

  22. Brad Pitt is rumored to be particularly smelly.

  23. Michael Stipe is smelly – I was muscled up next to him at a bar in college one night and had to excuse myself. Baaaaaaaad B.O. I’m sure he was all anti deoderant and probably rubbed a crystal under his armpits, but really.

  24. HAHAHAHAHAHH, chuck.
    Agreed with Colin Farrell topping my list, as he looks like has hasn’t showered since the 80s.

    But another one on my list, though she’s been off the scene and I love her, is Faruza Balk.

  25. Winona Ryder. Unless she’s recently shoplifted some Degree.

  26. What about nice smelling celebs?

    I think Kate Winslet would top the list. That girl is just classy! (And I saw her at the Toronto Film Fest!)

    As for smelly…

    FABIO

  27. I humbly submit Andy Dick. I’m not sure what coke-fueled mania smells like, but he’d definitely be the poster child.

  28. my picks

    Brandon Davis (though not really a celebrity so much)
    Tara Reid
    Micha Barton
    The entire cast of Lost

  29. hmmm… Lindsay Lohan must reek too.

  30. Great lists! I think this sort of thing all the time, about both celebs and people I see in real life. Glad I’m not crazy. Um, right?

  31. “The entire cast of Lost”

    So funny.

    Yeah, Max, we’re not crazy. :)

  32. Benicio Del Toro
    Mickey Rourke

  33. Mickey Rourke! I imagine when you hang out with him, at first you keep looking around for what’s causing that whiff of decay, until you finally realize.

    Snagging one from the headlines, can you imagine the smell that comes off Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert? I’m guessing some permutation of butt.

  34. I’m going with Leonard Decaprio. I bet he’s pretty funkdafied.

  35. A day later…

    I was in an elevator with Dee Snyder a few years ago and was surprised that he smelled really good!

  36. I would have thought Flavor Flav was a stinky one too.

    I imagine that Tony Soprano (in character, not James Gandolfini) might smell like deli meats and English Leather.

    I don’t know why everyone is all over Anna Nicole! I always thought she’d smell like sugar donuts. Or cake frosting.

  37. KellyLove makes a good point. Anna Nicole probably smells like cupcakes and TrimSpa.

  38. Cupcakes with Trimspa sprinkles


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