Comments on: Autumn Family Festival, My Ass

By: Jill

Jill — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 22:15:10 +0000

I wish I had time to grammatically correct every piece of propaganda I receive and give it back.

By: freakgirl

freakgirl — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 01:58:25 +0000

Andrew, I was so blinded by my self-righteousness, I totally overlooked that typo!

I should be punished.

By: the other andrew

the other andrew — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 01:28:44 +0000

“We look forward to see you there…”

Aaaaargh! Don’t they know that JESUS HATES POOR GRAMMAR USAGE. Unnamed Church, YOU ARE ALL GOING TO HELL.

I’ll look forward to NOT see you there! Oh, crap.

By: Hugh

Hugh — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 00:42:38 +0000

FLANDERS: Well, if God didn’t make little green apples, it’s Homer Simpson!
How long have you been here?

HOMER:Twenty of the suckiest minutes of my life.

FLANDERS: Ho ho ho, suckin’ down the cider, eh? Hey, word to the wise — [shows Homer a card] season pass! It pays for itself after the sixteenth visit. You know, most people don’t know the difference between apple cider and apple juice, but I do. Now here’s a little trick to help you remember. If it’s clear and yella’, you’ve got juice there, fella! If it’s tangy and brown, you’re in cider town. Now, there’s two exceptions and it gets kinda tricky here…

[Homer’s brain gets bored]
HOMER’S BRAIN:[moans] You can stay, but I’m leaving.
[footsteps, door closing; Homer is now staring blankly]

FLANDERS:.. can be yellow, if they’re using late season apples. And, of course, in Canada, the whole thing’s flip-flopped.

[Homer collapses]

FLANDERS: Oh, my! I’d better get you some cider.

By: chuckb123

chuckb123 — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 20:18:11 +0000

HAHA!! Awesome!

By: freakgirl

freakgirl — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 19:04:22 +0000

Very funny, Chuck. What they would probably do is take Gin Tasting Day (otherwise known as Freakgirl’s Birthday) and turn it into Refreshing Beverage Day and families would come from miles around and sip apple juice from martini glasses.

GC, now THAT would be an interesting day.

By: Greater Czarina

Greater Czarina — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 18:47:12 +0000

I think we have to drop by this, as bunnies say, Harvest Festival. I’m sure we can find something appropriate to wear. Mwa-ha-ha-ha!

By: chuckb123

chuckb123 — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 18:19:47 +0000

What if it were a flyer looking for gin tasters?

By: freakgirl

freakgirl — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 17:49:35 +0000

Jen, I don’t know what the word “retards” has to do with anything.

Laura, nice work with the quotation marks.

I think I just have a problem with Halloween being sanitized. I also have a problem with anybody putting flyers in my door.

By: Laura

Laura — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 17:43:08 +0000

We went to the “Harvest Festival” at the kids’ school, too - I was told they aren’t ALLOWED to use words like “Halloween” and “Christmas” in the schools anymore, hence the whole, “Harvest Festival” and “Winter Break” thing. But - that’s the SCHOOLS, y’know? The church, I don’t know what their deal is.

Although, I’m wondering if the “family friendly” costume suggestion is just so little kids aren’t scared half to death? Maybe they’re promoting it as an alternative for parents where they can take their kids and not have the life scared out of them? I have a 12-year-old who was a MAJOR scaredy cat when she was a kid. Maybe that’s all it is.

P.S. Yay for quotation marks!